Although I’m not in the dating scene, I would never date someone that hated dogs. That would be a dealbreaker. To me, it would indicate too big of a difference in our characters. I know I’m not alone in this, as showcased by the increase in pet-centric dating in recent years. But what happens when you are a single pet parent unsure how to navigate relationships and the tricky world of online dating?
There are a few dating apps that aim to connect single pet parents, mainly in the US (Offleash’dopens in new tab, FetchaDateopens in new tab, Petmeetopens in new tab and Pawwtnersopens in new tab – at present, only FetchaDate operates in the UK) where more than 66 percent of people have a pet, but pet-based dating apps have never really caught on. “With many niche apps failing to gain a critical mass of members, you might be able to find someone you like (and who likes your pet), but the chances are slim that you will find them at a distance that makes dating feasible,” says Eric Resnick, online dating expert and owner of ProfileHelperopens in new tab.
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Even though that is the case, are people who love dogs more approachable on ‘traditional’ dating apps? Data from Guide Dogsopens in new tab seems to point to that, as two-thirds of the people they spoke to “are more likely to match with someone online if their dating profile includes a picture of a pet dog”. They also found that 81 percent of the people asked find that having a pet is an attractive quality and, “Six in ten believe owning a dog is a good sign that someone is ready for a committed relationship and to settle down”.
The challenges of dating as a pet parent
Pet parenting and new relationships
Most of us view pets as part of the family, so introducing your pet to a new relationship comes with its challenges. Will my pet like them? How will they treat my pet? How will the relationship develop? What if they are a cat person and you are a dog person?
Compatibility in dating could be influenced by owning a pet, depending on the individual and their priorities; “Depending on the type of pet and the degree of care the pet needs, it might have a direct impact on lifestyle choices and habits, it could certainly have a strong influence when it comes to choosing a partner,” says Eloise Skinneropens in new tab, psychotherapist and author of But Are You Alive?, a lesson in pursuing depth, purpose and meaning through the field of existential therapy.
Pets offer true companionship and help us with feelings of security, safety and unconditional love, explains Michelle Beaupreopens in new tab, licensed therapist and clinical director at Villa Oasis, which is why some people rely on their pets’ instinct when it comes to choosing a partner.
“If a person naturally loves pets, it might be easier for them to build a relationship with a pet parent and connect emotionally,” she adds.
But, of course, it’s essential to ensure you aren’t neglecting your pet as soon as you get in a new relationship. “Prioritising the pet’s needs should be a clear boundary for early-stage relationships, as well as making sure you have enough time to spend with the pet alongside your dating life,” says Eloise. That doesn’t mean that this should stop you from doing dating activities that are not pet friendly – you can always leave your pet with a friend or a sitter when needed.
But if you want to bring your dog along on your first date, there are loads of dog-friendly activities for you to try. From a walk in the park to a pet-friendly café or pub, or even a stroll or hike at a local beach, park or mountain.
However, a shared love for pets isn’t enough to connect two people in the long term. You also need to discuss essential pillars of relationships, explains Michelle, like shared values, respect and trust.
“Pets can definitely help break the ice and connect partners in relationships, starting from the first dates. Pets serve as an easy conversation starter and character revealer of a partner, as they help to understand straight away if a person is caring and empathetic or lacks these traits,” she adds.
Fake feelings
Faking love for a pet to get close to their pet parent can happen, whether on dating apps or in real life. This would probably be one of the biggest red flags to note when dating someone new, regardless of whether they have pets or not.
“A partner can become aggressive when alone with a pet or start showing agitation, claiming that a pet is a blocker between the couple and not a part of their relationship. If you spot these red flags, it’s best to put an end to this relationship earlier rather than later, as when it happens in the beginning, there might be even more aggression later on,” says Michelle. Certainly, pet care philosophies can create tensions in a relationship.
“Anything violent, abusive or aggressive towards an animal would be a clear red flag, as well as someone who is dismissive or neglectful of the pet, or of your interest in the pet,” says Eloise.
The benefits of shared pet love
Meeting someone on a dating app and knowing right off the bat that they share your love for pets, helps nurture and strengthen your connection, as well as shared personal values and passions.
“Pets can also help you and your partner demonstrate attractive characteristics such as care, generosity, empathy and playfulness,” says Eloise.
There are various benefits of a shared pet love, according to the experts:
A bond over a pet can improve any relationship, including a long-term one.
Caring for a pet strengthens the emotional connection between partners and fosters teamwork.
Playing with a pet can create memorable experiences for a couple.
Pets can be an easy conversation starter.
Pets can reveal one’s character and it can help you understand if they are caring and empathetic or not.
There is a stronger likelihood two people will connect over their shared love of pets.
Owning a dog can help a pet parent become more socially active and walk more, an added benefit, which also improves one’s mental and physical health.
“Although a pet’s love is wonderful, it can’t replace a human connection in a romantic relationship,” says Michelle. So if you have been single for a while, it may take time to adjust, but finding someone who values pets as much as you will help you let your guard down.
The pet-centric dating apps
FetchaDate
Dog parents will know that chatting with other dogs and their pet parents while on a walk is very common. You might even like this person physically but have no idea if they are single or looking to meet new people. This is where FetchaDate comes in, helping you find and match with eligible single pet owners. In fact, when you’re on the app, you see the pet first before seeing the other person (like you do in real life).
“When I got my first Greyhound, people on the streets of NYC actually stopped to talk to me, many immediately seemed friendly. Right then, I knew the secret sauce to making friends, dating or finding love is a connection with fellow pet lovers,” says Sheryl Matthys, founder at FetchaDateopens in new tab. Sheryl held dog-friendly events in the city, to connect fellow pet lovers and then began to connect them nationwide, first through a website and then through an app.
Offleash’d
“Pets have this amazing way of organically connecting people,” says Terry James, CEO and co-founder at Offleash’dopens in new tab. The Los Angeles-based app uses AI technology to connect pet lovers, whether for dating or friendships (they have a Pet Social or Dating option) or even for group meet-ups. It’s an app that focuses on a community for pet people and nurtures that community with location-based events. Their patented match-making tool factors in traits and compatibility for both pets and pet parents.
James says that the app stands out because it enhances both human and pet connections in a meaningful way: “Offleash’d has built a platform where people’s love for pets and desire for authentic human connection can both flourish simultaneously.”
The app utilises ‘Eve’, an AI companion that supports the users when it comes to matchmaking, pet-care guidance, event planning, providing personalised tips and tracking wellness needs. They have users in 42 states in the US and, “Our live events are full of people that have found each other on Offleash’d and we are just getting started!” says James.
Pawwtners
Pawwtners was created to centre the dating experience via the shared connection of pet parenthood. “Our users have profiles that highlight their pets. Our matching algorithm considers pet-related lifestyle factors to help users pair with others that complement them, their pet’s needs/personality, and their lifestyle,” says Michael L Shenk, co-founder and CTO at Pawwtnersopens in new tab. Anecdotally, they have noticed that users on mainstream dating apps tend to trust, match and connect more often on profiles that feature pets.
“While our platform primarily connects pet owners, it also welcomes those who love animals and are open to dating someone with a pet,” he adds.
The app offers a useful map, called ‘PawwPlaces’ featuring dog park meet-ups and date suggestions, like pet-friendly cafés or group hikes.
Compatibility on the app extends to the pets and how well they would get along. “Just as two people with clashing personalities might not be a great match, an aggressive dog and a shy, anxious dog might struggle to coexist,” says Michael.
PetMeet
PetMeet’s algorithm suggests matches based on shared interests, personalities and lifestyles. “For many, if not most, pet parents, their pet is an extension of their family. Our app, in a way, ‘filters’ out non-serious folks who are just and solely, for example, looking for hookups. Of course, not every pet parent who is single is necessarily looking to date. For those that fall into this category, there is a ‘Friendship’ portion of the app that is separate from the intentional ‘Dating’ aspect,” says Lushane McBean, COO at PetMeetopens in new tab.
“Petmeet has a hard-coded requirement that users must upload pictures of their pets and themselves. This algorithm has recognition capabilities that disallow the creation of an account if this specific image is not detected. This feature, in a way, is like a gatekeeper that ensures the intended user base is using the app,” says Lushane.
Dating with pets might be easier than I initially thought with the right tools on hand. It’s all about genuine connections and a shared love for pets.
